Gloves of Deluge

edited June 18 in DesignFinder Chat
Gloves of Deluge:

Aura: moderate conjuration CL 7

Slot: Hands Price: 15,000gp Weight: N/A


These white cloth gloves look like something one might pull out when cooking, not spellcasting. Once per day, the user can  fill a 50ft area around the user with a blue, water-vaporous gas that hangs in the air.


Anyone inside the gas treats each square as both solid land and/or deep water in whatever way is most preferable to the creature, such as allowing creatures to swim through it, whilst also breathing air.  Spells and effects that require you to be underwater work inside the gas, as do spells that normally do not work underwater. Spells that consume water as part of their casting (Such as Bless Water) are also able to be used inside the gas , and remove the effect from the square they are cast in. The gas of watery mist sticks around for 5 mins, before dissipating, though strong winds or a Gust of Wind spell remove it in a single round.


Construction:

Cost: 2500 gp

Craft Wondrous Item, Create Water, Fins to Feet, Freedom of Movement


COMMENTS FROM THE JUDGES:


JACOB: First of all, congratulations; welcome to the Top 16 of the very first DesignFinder! This is an interesting item that plays around with rules that often don’t get used, and which could be really popular for a player who wants to use a water-based archetype but is concerned that its use would be diluted if much of a campaign is land-based (or for a GM who can bring out some aquatic creatures that they might not get to play with as much -- think of what an aboleth villain might do with these…). The originality of this item really pushes it to the top, and I’m curious to see how people come up with ways it can be used that wouldn’t be expected. I like some of the attention to detail, such as spells like bless water removing a section of the vapor, which speaks well of the designer. I *am* assuming the designer meant the area is treated as both air and/or deep water -- if the entire area is treated as solid ground, it means people would potentially have to burrow through it if they couldn’t swim. I think the designer meant they were still about to stand/walk on solid ground.

Unfortunately, there are a decent number of template and style issues here that give me a lot of pause. It doesn’t look like this designer followed the template, as he/she has colons after many of the categories, which aren’t bold. Spells should be lowercase and italicized, and the cost should be one-half the price (it’s also missing a comma, while the price is missing a space before “gp”). The caster level should be 7th, not 7; and hands should be lowercase. It should be 50-ft. Area. There’s also a space before a comma.

Why does all that matter? It can be the difference between becoming a successful freelancer and not. If a developer has to spend tons of time fixing basic formatting mistakes, he/she is not going to want to hire that freelancer again. Round 2 is lighter on the rules content, but if this designer advances to Round 3, I’ll be keeping a close eye on his/her ability to present the information the way it’s expected.


KATE: This is a unique concept for a magic item! They’re not super powerful as a standalone item, but as someone currently GMing a Ruins of Azlant campaign, I can definitely see the potential for a lot of neat interactions with spells and special abilities. I was surprised that this didn’t specify that the vapor creates concealment. There are a few templates issues here that Jacob covered well. I also see an extraneous space and comma, so make sure to give items a good proofreading for grammar as well. Nice work coming up with a fun and creative item!


MIKE: The gloves are a wonderfully creative item, which allow for landbound characters to enjoy some adventures under the sea. They also allow aquatic creatures to have some fun on the ground, so this makes it an item both players and GMs would appreciate. This creativity overcame several issues with the template and grammar. In later rounds, you’ll want to proofread or have a trusted friend review your submissions before you turn them in.

Congratulations and welcome to the top 16!


REP: Congratulations! I like this--it creates cool visuals, is pretty unique, and is useful without being overpowered. I wonder if a consumable slotless item would, however, be more appropriate than a hands slot item. If the item allowed just the wearer to walk through water or swim through air, without affecting the environment, then I’d say hands or feet slot would make more sense. This item did need a lot more proofreading: template format is dodgy (and given we provided a template to copy and paste, this is troubling)--missing a lot of punctuation and formatting (spells should be lower case), and cost should be at the end. A creation cost of 2,500 gp does not equate to a 15,000 gp price. I might have simplified the spell requirements to something like solid fog though I see your logic in the spells you chose.

Comments

  • Congratulations on being selected into the top 16! There's definitely some wording issues, but the others have all mentioned that, and no sense piling on.  You've clearly impressed some judges with your creativity and they want to see more of what you can bring.

    I think about the only stuff I will mention is that it took me a bit of reading and thought on the effects of your cloud to know whether it was mobile or stationary. I've concluded that it seems to be intended to move with the wearer, maintaining a 50-foot radius airy water type effect (a spell that didn't really make it through 3.5 and into Pathfinder). As such, I think adding the word 'mobile' to the beginning of the cloud's description would help immensely with others who might have the same question (and save some time with pondering the ramifications before concluding that it should be mobile).

    Other than that, I am still unsure whether this item and its cloud effect would work underwater or not, and how that might work (other than letting an air-breather survive).
  • This is a great item! I have a question about the area of effect. The item says 50ft radius, but does not list a height of the misty gas. I am wondering if this could be used  It does mention the effect can be removed in the square by use of a spell like Bless Water. Does that means this only has a 5ft height as well?  I have always treated Fog Cloud like spells as a X ft radius globe which makes this slightly confusing for me.
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